7. April 22, 2014 Majesty!

I just posted the blog for today April 22.

The song Here I Am(Majesty) by Delirious playing in the background.

Sitting here in my room I started to think about how I have no life what so ever. I am not looking for a girlfriend but it would be nice to have a female friend to go with me as I do my walk in the park. It would be nice to have more money so I could enjoy some of the things I see others doing. I have nothing.

Those thoughts lasted but a moment when I hear a voice inside say, “You have a life, you cant see it because it has been hidden. Remember, you have died your life is now hidden in me.” Once again I find myself enveloped by peace. All my needs have been met. The things I need to sustain this life in the flesh have been provided. And there is much more. I have Christ. I have everything.

The song playing brings memories back to when I was four or five. One of my sisters reads the the childrens version of Samuel.

1 Samuel 3

1 The boy Samuel ministered before the LORD under Eli. In those days the word of the LORD was rare; there were not many visions. 2 One night Eli, whose eyes were becoming so weak that he could barely see, was lying down in his usual place. 3 The lamp of God had not yet gone out, and Samuel was lying down in the temple of the LORD, where the ark of God was. 4 Then the LORD called Samuel. Samuel answered, "Here I am." 5 And he ran to Eli and said, "Here I am; you called me." But Eli said, "I did not call; go back and lie down." So he went and lay down. 6 Again the LORD called, "Samuel!" And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, "Here I am; you called me." "My son," Eli said, "I did not call; go back and lie down." 7 Now Samuel did not yet know the LORD: The word of the LORD had not yet been revealed to him. 8 The LORD called Samuel a third time, and Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, "Here I am; you called me." Then Eli realized that the LORD was calling the boy. 9 So Eli told Samuel, "Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, 'Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.' " So Samuel went and lay down in his place. 10 The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, "Samuel! Samuel!" Then Samuel said, "Speak, for your servant is listening."

For several nights as I went to bed, I remember saying “Lord, here I am.” As far back as I can remember, I believed in God. I have always felt I was called into ministry. As a young teenage Catholic I even considered being a priest. I heard God speak to me audibly late one night and He pretty much told me I would not be a priest.

 

The song playing is on a loop. “Majesty, Majesty, your grace has found me just as I am, empty handed but alive in your hands.”

I am brought to tears. I am remembering my mother who passed away five years ago.

My mom was a die hard catholic. She believed that only Catholics were going to make it to heaven and I was constantly reminded to return to the “True Church”. She didn’t know she could have a personal relationship with her creator.

In January of 2009 I got a call that she had a major stroke. Both my father and mother had decided if anything happened to them they would not try to resuscitate or use feeding tubes. My mom was 87 and about to die. The sister who called told me emphatically that I was not to talk about God, Jesus, or the Bible and she would be watching me.

This was war. My mom would have an opportunity to hear about and receive Christ. I didn’t have a problem if she refused, that would be her choice. But she would hear the Gospel before she died. I was living on the East Coast and arrived in Newport Beach, CA a few days later. Hospice had set up a bed for her in the living room of their home. Several family members were there including the sister who was going to keep her eye on me. I spent some time with my mom but could not get any time alone without being under a watchful eye.

Also there was my Aunt, my moms only surviving sibling, along with her was my cousin Kathy. Back in my High School days I stayed away from Kathy because she was one of those “Jesus Freaks”. I don’t call her that anymore because I am one now and I don’t think I am a freak. Anyway, as my aunt and cousin were about to leave I got a few moments alone with Kathy. She told me she really wanted to talk to my mom about Jesus but she knew that my family would throw her out of the house if she tried. She tried several times but could not get any time alone with her. She prayed and asked God for help. Suddenly everybody got up and left the house. And I mean everybody including my dad. She had no idea why but she took the chance to talk to my mom. She asked my mom if she knew Jesus and my mom replied with a “yes”. Then my mom was asked if she knew Jesus as her Lord and Savior. She said “no”. My mom then prayed and asked Jesus to be her Savior.

A few hours after my cousin left, the sister who was keeping her eye on me came into the kitchen where I was and said:

“The weirdest thing happened today, Tom. The doorbell started ringing and wouldn't stop. There was nobody outside. We all tried to fix it but couldn’t get it to stop. We checked the button and it wasn't stuck. It just kept on ringing. We all gave up and finally it just stopped on its own.”

I heard a voice say to me, “Behold, I stand at the door and ring.” Where there was no way, Jesus made the way.

The next morning I was able to spend some time alone with my mom. She told me she talked to Jesus that night and she knew what her job was once she got to heaven. I was excited to hear what that was and with a smile she told me she was not allowed to tell me. She went home to be with her Lord and Savior a few days later.

The song is still playing. I hear the words “Majesty” and the floodgates are opened and my shirt is soaked with tears. These are tears of Joy. How Majestic is Jesus. He provided the miracle needed so my mom would be in heaven with Him. I will see her again. And I know she is watching over me. I believe she has met my daughter. I cant wait to go home.

Do I believe in Jesus? Absolutely! No doubts! I am not saying this in faith, but from experience.

Blessings,
Tom